First Date Safety Plan

Before the day: is he who he says he is?

Most of the work happens before you meet. Have a video call first. Tinder's safety tips call a phone or video call "a useful screening tool before meeting", and Bumble's first-date guide starts with one. Someone using another man's photos will keep finding reasons why the camera can't work.

Then check the photos and the story. The FTC says to do a reverse image search of the profile picture and to search his type of job with the word "scammer" (its examples are "oil rig scammer" and "US Army scammer"). If the picture turns up under another name, or with details that don't match, the FTC calls those "signs of a scam." The FBI adds: go slowly, ask lots of questions, and be wary of anyone who "quickly asks you to leave a dating service or social media site to communicate directly." Our guides walk through each check: how to background check a match before meeting, how to reverse image search a dating photo and how to spot an AI-generated profile. If anything already feels off, run him through the red flag checker.

Where to meet, and how to get there

Tinder's rule is short: "Meet in a populated, public place — never at your home, your date's home, or any other private location. If your date pressures you to go to a private location, end the date." A coffee shop, a bar or a park works.

Get there and home on your own. Tinder wants you "in control of how you get to and from your date so that you can leave whenever you want," and suggests a backup if you drive yourself, "such as a ride-share app or a friend to pick you up." Bumble quotes a dating coach: "On a first date, you should never have anyone pick you up at home." It also says to keep your home address, your office address and whether you live alone private on a first date, and, if you take public transport, to carry enough money to get home on your own. The plan above warns you if you choose a lift from him.

Tell a friend, and set a check-in

Both apps say the same thing: tell a friend or family member "your plans, including when and where you're going" (Tinder), and who you'll be meeting (Bumble). A check-in time turns that into a safety net: if your friend hasn't heard from you by then, they call. The message above sets one for 1 to 3 hours after the start, and a code word gives you a way out without a scene. Text it, and your friend calls with a reason you have to leave.

Your phone can do part of it. Keep it charged; Tinder says to have it "charged and with you at all times."

Feature	What it does	What it needs
Check In (iPhone, in Messages)	Set a timer or a destination. If you don't respond when it ends, or your phone doesn't arrive, your friend is told and can see your location, battery and signal.	iOS 17 or later on both phones
Safety Check (Android, Personal Safety app)	Schedule a check. If you can't mark yourself OK, Google shares your real-time location and battery with your emergency contacts, even if the phone turns off or loses signal.	Your friend added as an emergency contact
Live location (Find My, Google Maps, WhatsApp)	Your friend can follow where you are until you stop sharing.	An app you both use
Tinder's Share My Date	Shares the date's details from inside the app.	A Tinder match

On the date

Decide beforehand how much you'll drink. Bumble's guide suggests a first meeting without alcohol, since "when you drink alcohol, it brings down your defenses", and Tinder says: "Don't leave drinks or personal items unattended. Know where your drink comes from and know where it is at all times." If he pushes you to drink more than you want, Tinder's advice is to "hold your ground and end the date."

You can leave at any point. If something feels wrong, go, and call 911 in the US and Canada, 999 in the UK or 000 in Australia if you are in danger. Afterwards, report anything that worried you on the app: the reporting is there for that.

The one rule about money

Whatever happens before or after the date: "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person," as the FTC puts it. A match who asks for money, gift cards or crypto, or offers to show you an investment, is running a scam: the red flags that matter most and why a match pushing crypto is always a scam explain why. If money has already gone, the report and recovery plan lists the calls to make first.

Sources, all read on 19 October 2026: Tinder, safety tips and tinder.com/safety-tips; Bumble, first date safety; FTC, What To Know About Romance Scams; FBI, Romance Scams; Apple, Use Check In for Messages on iPhone; Google, get help during an emergency with your Android phone. The plan is general safety advice, not a guarantee; nothing typed into it is stored or sent.