Romance Scam Red Flag Checker

Why money decides it

Every agency that deals with romance scams gives the same rule. The FTC: "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person." The FBI: "Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone." Australia's Scamwatch: "If they ask you for money, they're probably a scammer." That is why one money sign is enough for the checker to call it a scam, however real the rest feels.

How he wants to be paid is a sign of its own. The FTC lists the ways romance scammers ask for money: a wire through a company like Western Union or MoneyGram, gift cards (Amazon, Google Play, iTunes or Steam) and their PIN codes, a money transfer app, or cryptocurrency, all ways that make it hard to get the money back. In its February 2024 alert it put it more bluntly: "Only scammers tell you to pay those ways."

Not every scam asks for money outright. In the investment version he never asks you for a cent: he offers to show you a trading app or a crypto platform where his money grows, and your deposits go onto a site he controls. Scamwatch lists it as a warning sign in its own right, and the FTC notes that romance scammers "may even offer to help you get started in cryptocurrency investing." Our guide explains why a match pushing crypto is always a scam. Another version uses you instead of your money: the FBI warns that someone you met online who needs your bank details to deposit money "most likely" uses your account for other fraud, and Scamwatch says never to agree to move money for someone else, because it can make you part of money laundering.

The signs before the money

Scammers rarely ask early. The FTC says they "build up trust, sometimes talking or chatting several times a day," then "make up a story and ask for money." The signs on the left of the checker are the build-up, in the agencies' own words:

• He can't meet. The FTC lists the reasons scammers give: "living or traveling outside the country, working on an oil rig, in the military, or working with an international organization." The FBI adds construction projects abroad, and says that if you haven't met someone "after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious."
• No video. Scamwatch: "There always seems to be some reason they can't meet in person or video chat."
• Fast feelings and a flood of messages. Scamwatch calls it love bombing: "they quickly declare they have strong feelings for you."
• Off the app, and secret. The FBI says to beware of anyone who "quickly asks you to leave a dating service or social media site to communicate directly" or "attempts to isolate you from friends and family." Scamwatch: "They want you to only trust them and keep your relationship secret."
• An emergency. A hospital bill, a legal fee, a visa, fees to get out of trouble. The FTC and the FBI both list these as the stories that come with the request.
• A profile that doesn't add up. Scamwatch's signs of a fake profile: "photos that look too professional", an account that hasn't been active long, "very little personal information", few connections, and a profile that "doesn't match what they tell you about themselves."

Where these happen matters less than you might think. The FTC reported in April 2026 that "nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2025 said it started on a social media platform," not on a dating app (FTC press release). A friend request from a stranger deserves the same checks.

The tests that settle it

Two checks clear up most of the doubtful cases. First, a live video call: someone using another man's photos can't do one. Second, the FTC's two searches: a reverse image search of his profile picture ("Is it associated with another name or with details that don't match up? Those are signs of a scam"), and his type of job with the word "scammer", such as "oil rig scammer" or "US Army scammer." See how to reverse image search a dating photo, and for faces that were never photographed, how to spot an AI-generated profile. The fuller version is the twelve-minute background check.

If he says he's a soldier

The deployed soldier is a favourite part because it explains everything: why he can't meet, why he can't call, why he needs money. The Army's Criminal Investigation Division tells people to be "extremely suspicious if you are asked for money for transportation costs, communication fees or marriage processing and medical fees," and gives two checks: service members overseas "will often have an APO or FPO mailing address," and a real one can send you an email from an address ending in ".mil". More in spotting a military romance scam.

If you've already sent money

Don't wait and don't be embarrassed: the FBI calls the people behind these scams "experts at what they do." Call your bank, card company or the service you used today and ask them to stop or reverse the payment, then report it. The report and recovery plan gives the calls and reports for how you paid and where you live, and our guide to reporting a dating scam goes through them in order.

Sources, all read on 19 October 2026: FTC, What To Know About Romance Scams; FTC, Romance scammers love… to take your money; FTC, New FTC Data Show People Have Lost Billions to Social Media Scams; FBI, Romance Scams; Scamwatch (Australia), Romance scams; US Army CID, scammers impersonating Soldiers. The checker is general information from those agencies, not an investigation of any one person; nothing ticked leaves your browser except in a link you choose to copy.